The congested concertgoer

Not only was I not kidding about Action Hero's love for cars, I was not kidding about the clogged sinuses either. Good grief. Totally not fair, considering the round of sinus infections that hit Charming Bungalow in late January/early February. But, since this time my ears are not plugged (at least not yet), I decided to deal with my sinus congestion by...going to a concert. Should you ever experience severe sinus congestion, please consider doing the same. You will not actually feel any better (and may, in fact, decide to give up and go visit the doctor already the following morning), but at least you'll feel lousy while listening to one of your favorite bands. And, at a concert, no one can hear you blow your nose (which, after a day or two spent self-consciously honking away in my cubicle, seems like paradise on Earth).

Following are some tips for the congested concertgoer, should you undertake such in the future. You, too, can blow your nose vigorously while enjoying Irish drinking songs!

1. Before leaving, imbibe a glass or two of your favorite alcoholic beverage. (Public Service Announcement: Only complete this step if someone else is providing transport to the concert. Thank you.) This temporarily clears the sinuses, and has the added bonus of getting you to giggle at the whole situation. Frequently, and with vigor.

2. Attend with older relatives. They may complain about not being able to see the band once people in front of you stand up, but they carry cough drops, and one of them will magically produce a bottle of Afrin (purses are amazing things), quite handy for when the temporary wine treatment fails to clear the sinuses.

3. Try to ensure that the people sitting near you have also imbibed their favorite alcoholic beverages (or, in the case of the college students behind us, whatever alcoholic beverages they can afford). They will provide stimulating and distracting conversation to overhear before and after the opening act, and their enthusiasm will be contagious.

4. Wear a warm coat and a sweater. This may seem counterintuitive considering that large, full theaters are not generally cold, but when your fever kicks in again, you will be quite cozy with the extra clothing.

5. Look scruffy and miserable. I swear I did not do this intentionally, but my mother bought me a drink and had to pay $9 for it, while the same vendor charged me $6 for the same drink not 45 minutes later. Something must have inspired that, and I doubt it was because the vendor was bowled over by my beauty and charm.