The really pretty crappy day

Replace "Alexander" above with "Anithe" and that'll be just right. Where do I begin?

Yesterday morning, 5:38AM. Kids wake up. Early. I take them downstairs to the living room and hazily flip on a cartoon. Boy Wonder coughs a few times and says, "Mom? My neck hurts when I squeeze it." I respond, "Well, stop squeezing it then. And come here, let me look at it." Well, no bloody wonder his neck hurts; I feel the sides of his neck and note that the lymph nodes along his jawline are swollen to the size of, like, Delaware. Whee. When queried whether anything else hurt, he says that his tummy might hurt. Double whee! And time to call the doctor, because sore throat/neck + abdominal pain = strep. Doctor's office opens at 8:00. We have some time to kill here.

6:00-7:48: Which we fill by making assorted phone calls. First to my mother, who is upset to say that if Boy Wonder is ill, he should not visit her, because if she gets sick then her surgery* must be postponed. Second, to my supervisor, indicating that I will be taking at least the morning off to transport child to and from doctor. Incoming call from my father, who has heard from my mother, who is upset because she thinks I think that she doesn't WANT to watch the kids.

8:00: We call the doctor's office and are provided with an 8:45 (!) appointment. I put sandals on everyone and leave. I realize I must stop for gas before driving across town to the doctor's new office location. I swear, and stop for gas. We arrive at doctor's new office location at...

8:43: We are whisked into exam room and presented with a doctor, who high-fives both children. Boy Wonder: "Do I smell...candy suckers?" Doctor: Cracks up. Presents Action Hero with sucker; promises Boy Wonder one when exam is finished. Boy Wonder is examined, and the Rapid Strep Test (sticking large Q-tip device down throat of patient) is performed. We head into the waiting room to wait for results. This is a bad idea, because...

9:04: Boy Wonder, having not been sufficiently cautioned about the dangers of running in flip-flop sandals, runs across the waiting room in flip-flop sandals, trips, slides across rug, and whacks forehead on chair leg. As he breaks into hysterics and Action Hero looks on in awe, I race back toward the exam room and request an ice pack from some startled nurses. I race back out into the waiting room to find a startled doctor (not the one we just saw) checking out the situation. We are whisked back into the exam room, where Boy Wonder's forehead is ice-packed and he has his pupils checked and is presented with a bandage. I suppose that if you're going to fall and whack your head, you might as well do it at the doctor's office. We are also informed that the strep test was negative, but presented with medication anyway because, well, giant lymph nodes. We chill with the ice pack for a few more minutes before heading off into the parking lot, where...

9:33: Action Hero takes off running, giggling madly, and is brought back to reality as I pick him up and shriek about the dangers of parking lots. Once safely in parked car, we make more phone calls. Mom: sad that she cannot spend time with grandchildren until they are symptom-free. Dragon: will come home around lunchtime. Daycare director: yes, of course Action Hero can come in. We start the car and go about our day.

11:00: Action Hero is at daycare. Boy Wonder's medicine has been acquired and given. Boy Wonder is in the living room, watching a cartoon, as I prepare lunch for him. I see something silver and shiny out of the corner of my left eye...and then I can't see out of my left eye at all. I realize in horror that I am starting on my first migraine headache in 15 years.** I gulp two generic ibuprofen tablets, reconsider, and take two more. I prepare Boy Wonder lunch and read him a story (once the silver whirlies have concluded) and wait to see what kind of headache is going to hit. Dragon comes home. I briefly consider calling my supervisor, but decide that I will feel like too much of a jackass if I call and say, "Um, I'm not feeling well," after calling and saying, "I'm going to be late," then calling and saying, "I'll be in after lunch." Off to work I go, feeling a bit like I'm riding the Tilt-a-Whirl...

3:00: which I deal with by chewing a LOT of peppermint gum, and my headache has fizzled. Well, whew. Never thought I could whack down a migraine wtih ibuprofen and pepperminnt gum, but not complaining. When filling coworker in on headache and doctor-visit misadventures, I end up filling her in on everything.*** She buys me a Coke.

8:00PM: While putting children to bed, I discover swollen glands in Action Hero's tiny neck. "Owie, Mommy. Dat hurts. No touchie neck."

8:57PM: Dragon leaves to see new Batman movie; I bid him happy watching as I rest on couch under blanket. I promise to make iced tea and save recorded TV show episodes for him.

8:58PM: I close my eyes and do not wake up until Dragon comes home from movie, whereupon he sends me off to bed.

Thus concludes the yesterday portion of our adventure. The today portion, also beginning at around 5:38, involves another call to doctor (the startled one), who thinks we should wait for a couple of days to treat Action Hero, since the strep test was negative and it may be all viral anyway. It also involves Action Hero hitting his head on the coffee table and getting a big bruise, and then getting a call back from Startled Doctor that, while Boy Wonder's rapid test for strep was negative, the more traditional overnight test came back positive. Welcome to the House of Strep. He will call in a prescription for Action Hero.

*She is having one of her kidneys removed. Because it has cancer on it. Tests currently pending on whether or not cancer is anywhere else. We hope it's not.

**I got migraine headachaes regularly from fifth through eighth grade. Thirty minutes or so of whirly flashing lights in front of one eye, followed by Very Bad headache lasting six to eight hours, followed by barfing, followed by passing out in exhaustion.

***See first footnote.