Taking things literally

Like many two-year-olds, Action Hero (currently weathering an ear infection, poor tiny dear) has a very busy schedule and considers time spent sitting still time wasted. Thus, he is not thrilled with having to remain still long enough to have his diaper changed, and he fusses a lot during this process. Sometimes, he wiggles; other times, he tries to kick. So I try the time-honored tradition of presenting him with a toy to distract him. Usually I give him a toy that belongs to his brother, so it is New and Special and Distracting.

One day he was being particulary wiggly and fussy, so I picked up a Spiderman action figure and said, "Here, buddy. Tell Spidey all about it." Meaning, of course, "Here, have a toy and stop fussing already."

And of course, since he is two and does not yet grasp all the vagaries of the English language, he happily grabbed the action figure and said, "Hi, 'Pidey! I stinky. Mommy chane my diper! (pause) No kickin Mommy."

This technique works pretty well, actually; so far, Action Hero has cheerily informed Spidey, his twin action figure, various stuffed animals, several Happy Meal toys, Buzz Lightyear, and a number of toy cars about what happens when it's time for a change.

Fortunately, they have not seen fit to respond.