Brokedown parable

(This goes out to everyone who's experiencing A Series of Unfortunate Events lately.)

Many years ago, during the days of tequila and retail, a coworker told me this story.

One Sunday night, his girlfriend called; her car had broken down. Actually, it didn't so much "break down" as "speed up uncontrollably"; her gas pedal had gotten stuck in the down position. Fortunately, she was driving on the highway at the time, and was eventually able to brake enough to take an exit into town and pull into a gas station. And, since her car was rather unsafe to continue driving, she asked if he could come pick her up.

So he went to pick her up, and they examined her car in the parking lot. They decided to just take his car home, and worry about towing hers somewhere later. Unfortunately, once they decided this, his car wouldn't start.

So, since SOMEONE's car needed to get fixed fairly quickly, they decided to call a tow truck and send one of the cars to the repair shop. A tow truck arrived, and promptly broke down. The tow truck driver was mortified: "This has NEVER happened before." he said.

At that point, they decided the hell with it; they'd take the bus home and worry about the cars in the morning. They walked to the nearest bus stop, waited for a while, and then boarded the bus, happy to be on the way home.

And, at least eight years later, I can still see him, clear as day, saying with a grin and trying not to crack up again, "And then, and then, the BUS broke down."

I've had a few runs of luck like that myself, although usually they haven't taken place over one evening. Among the more memorable: two years ago, my grandfather got really sick, and eventually passed away, giving the family a one-way ticket on the Stress Express. Boy Wonder spent that same winter getting every virus that hit southeastern WI, developing a stunning array of fevers, ear infections, and GI viruses. Then he fell off the couch and onto the coffee table, biting through his lower lip and inspiring our first child-related ER trip. Then he got a nasty bacterial infection. Then I dropped the VCR on my foot, causing broken toes and a nasty bruise. Then Boy Wonder had his ear-tube surgery, followed by a solid week of nasty gunk draining out of his ears. (I think I could use the word "nasty" once more, if I tried really hard.) That was a really long few months.

And among the more recent: well, 2006 started out wonderfully, what with having Action Hero and buying a house. But then my metaphorical security blanket was whisked away with a vengeance. Just bought a house? Great, but you don't have a job. Getting one won't be easy, either. You won't get one before the year's out. And your transmission needs rebuilding! Hey, it's 2007! Still no job. Your basement leaks. Oh, hey, have a job. (Yay!) But you'll have to change the kids' daycare center. Boy Wonder will seem really excited about it, but after being there for a couple of weeks, he'll start telling you that he wants to stay home with you and Grandma all the time! AND THERE ARE BATS IN YOUR ATTIC (and, momentarily, in your basement)!

Of course, things aren't all bad. With the kids around, they never are. Boy Wonder and Action Hero are awesome; more than awesome, really, and I'll have to blog about them more often, just so I can share their awesomeness with the Internet, my small corner of which consists of five friends and my in-laws (hi!). (Bit from today: my cousin graduated from college today, and had a little family get-together at a local restaurant. Me: "Boy Wonder, time to change clothes! We need to get ready for Cousin's party!" Boy Wonder: "OK! (pause) Mommy? What color does Cousin like?")

And really, the inconveniences can march merrily along. I'll take those in a minute over some of the things that I've been reading about in the news lately.